


the brewski frat™

by bww666, chrishaggy, toes-ier (snowglobegays)



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: A WILD RIDE, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Monsters, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crossover, F/F, Group Chat Fic, M/M, Multi, a lot of references to our gc too, also one of the authors doesnt have an acc, just some fun, lots of ships my guy, mary is a mess, might be a crack fic, smh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-16 04:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13046235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bww666/pseuds/bww666, https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrishaggy/pseuds/chrishaggy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobegays/pseuds/toes-ier
Summary: I want a Jewish Girl: My rabbi hates me.hahaha i do that: whos ur rabbiI want a Jewish Girl: My dad.a mess gc fic written by messy people





	1. outgay the gays

**Author's Note:**

> Whats up u candy cane cum guzzler its dickcember
> 
> ok so the name next to the character is whos in charge of them when writing :)
> 
> stan, lev = i want a jewish girl 
> 
> mike h, lev = country boy i love you
> 
> ben, lev = go back to sleep and starve
> 
> bill, mary = what the FUCK is up kyle
> 
> mike w, mary = still a piece of garbage
> 
> eddie, mary = would anyone like some stew
> 
> bev, mary = butter my eggroll
> 
> el, levy = i’’m 11 so shut the fuck up
> 
> dustin, levy = uh,, skinny penis
> 
> lucas, levy = oovoo javer
> 
> richie, fern = what the fuck richard
> 
> will, fern = sticky nut juice
> 
> max, fern = hahaha i do that

 

**[Dec 16, 2017] [11:54 PM]** **_the biggest mood_ **

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** the last jedi? more like the last gay die

 

 ** _what the FUCK is up kyle:_** lil dickie u r ugly

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** haha retweet

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** whats happening

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** sorry but,, uhh,, i dont like 

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** star wars

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** what the fuk eleven why the fuck

 

 ** _what the FUCK is up kyle:_** u r deleted

 

 ** _still a piece of garbage:_** bye eleven its been fun

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok so im sitting next to max rn and all shes doing is singing hoedown throwdown from hannah montana fuck

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** yes max queen

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** zig zag, cross te floor, shuffle an d diagonal,,,

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok stop right there

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** you have been stopped

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** wait back to the star wars thing whta hte fcuk

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** go to sLEPE

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok i know this isnt the time but like max shut the fuck up

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** sorry benny:(

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ok so i know this bih in chem and her name is mary

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ohhhhh fuck i wanna deck her

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** you should

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** i know mary i bet shes into that

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** shed nut In Her Pants

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** What has she done wrong? She’s nice to me.

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ok so she like never does her fuckin work and she smells like ass all the time

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** i think shes like always high

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** she is

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** michaelangelo x raphael tnt fanfic

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** not the fuckin time u shit fuck

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** i just fuckng nutted

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** stop slandering mary wtf. u should focus on the real villain, lev from oceanography

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** i bet u fucked mary huh dickie

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** mary is a ELSVBIAN

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** bev did YOU fuck mary

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** lil dickie wouldnt fuck mary  shes out of his league

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** sa v a g e

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** self roast eddie ur dating him

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** FUOCK

 

 ** _go back to sleep and starve:_** i SAID TO GO TO SLEEP

 

**_country boy i love you_ ** **:** tbh levs a thot

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** sorry ben

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** jUST PUT US ON FUCKING MITE

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** who the fuck is lev what did he fuck do 

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** mite 

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** He deepthroated a candy cane and lost it.

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** mite

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** lost it as in laughed or lost it in his throat

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** mite

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ok,,, bullys 

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Lost it in his throat .

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** did he die

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** how big was it 

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** i hope he died

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** bill what did he d o to u

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** hes is ugly

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** like his personality orrrrr

 

**_hahaha I do that:_ **  srry just finished singing hoedown why are we hating the soap 

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** everything

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** can we talk about levya shes so ugly

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ **  be nice 2 lev he is small

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** OOOHHH LEVYA What a whole ass trick ass bitch ass bitch

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** shes so fuckin lazy and all she does is complain and shes just so annoying

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** levya speaks and i want to C O M M I T sewercide

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** or homicide

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** id do both fuck

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** who the fuck is levya idk her

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** 169 messages. what, ive been gone for 10 minutes

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** hehehe 69

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** sorry benny :(

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** ben wants us dead some times i am some times afraid

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** he s going 2 kill us all

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** hey guys I was too busy getting some mcsucc what’d I miss 

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** hey guys i was too busy giving mcsucc what’d I miss 

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** yall fuckin?

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** i ddnt know we were in an open relationship i woulda fuqued will eearlier

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** we’re pretty open 2

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** wait el/max/bev how open are yall

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** i mean p open

 

**_hahaha I do that:_ **  yea we are pretty open 

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** i saw the thot mary hit on bev earlier

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** lmao what :)

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** dustin wyddddddd 

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** el is going to Murder Mary

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** and I brought you myrrh

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** murDER

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** Judas! no!

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok shut the fuck up bill n mike

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** were talking about bevs relationship with mary :)

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** what he fuck :))) bev :))))

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** ahahhahah what relation ship :)))))))) i have none,,, ,,,,, who is mary 

 

**_hahaha I do that:_ **  square the fuck up thot mary 

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** imm throw some mother fuckin hands fuck

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok im clam ok im clam

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** clam

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** clam

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** CLaM DOWN

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** WAR IS HELL

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** not the time mike

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** u rite sorry

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** i swear it is nothing shes just a desperate thot and i said hey mary shit the fuck uo

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** aw i tell mary to shut the fuck up every day

 

**_hahaha I do that:_ **  mary is a trick ass hoe and i would merk her the first chance i get

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** i just chalked on all my water

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** an entire water botttles worth of water came back up my throat

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** lmao like,,, what

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** are u ok ben???

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** hes Fine

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** i choke on things bigger than water every day ;)

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** … thingS?? pluraL??

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** yeah i choke on bills nut sacks

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** i meant thing singular smh

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** i only have 1 dick

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** i actually meant i choke on bills love daily :/

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** aww i choke on ur love too  <3<3<3<3

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** also ur dick

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** y’all,, what the fuck

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** fuck we can outgay them

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** @benny and @lucas come outgay them with me

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** why are we trying to outgay each other

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** we all already know it’s me/bev/max :)

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** succ my dick homie

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** fuck yes ben

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** i succ the dick off

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** me n my boiz r the gyaest

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** y’all are fuckin nast talkin ab succin each other

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** oh shut the fuck up u nutsaxk u know ur a hot dog when it comes to ur mans(s)

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** fUCK I MEAN HOT DOG

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** HOT GOD

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** H O R N  D O G 

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** i think i just threw up a little.

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** hot dog

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** okay, bully

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** ok i’m back

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** yeah me too

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ‘,:) where were u guys

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i thought i told y’all,, i was givin the mcsucc 

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** please dont mention it again

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** why egg boii,, u,, uncomfortable????

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ya ben if ur uncomfortable i count that as homophobia

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** thats considered a hate crime

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ull be hearing from my lawyer in about 2-4 business days

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** i????

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** ok

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** succin w/o me :(

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** dw baby we’ll stop by tomorrow n give u the good succin(™)

 

**_would anyone like some stew: heheh ;P_ **

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ok nvm don’t make that face

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** how can y’all feel so comfortable talkin ab dick succin in front of everyone

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** smh y’all nasty as shit

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** when u date richard. that’s just how it be. 

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** sorry i only know lil sickie

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** lil sickie

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ok bully

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** smh ben/lucas when u gon treat me like that

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** smh

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** uhhhhh,,,

 

**_oovoo javer:_ **  itreat u the way u deserve to be treated

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** i treat u the good the fyuck

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** not as right as i treat my man

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** u don’t talk ab succin like that

 

**_go back to sleep and starve :_ ** that stuff is private in my opinion

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** yeah dusty besides u never bring it up so i mean

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** why don’t u want ppl to know that thing that i do with my tongue that drives u guys crazy????

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ever since my teeth grew in my mouth has never looked better or more inviting :)

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** i will b honest i do not Want to hear about anything u do with ur tongue justin

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** i

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** i nyeed to go cha eck the c h ickens for a se c

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** smh y’all are homophobic

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** n u know u wanna hear what i can do with my tongue bev

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** what that mouth do, amirite

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** I am so disgusted right now, if Mike says anything about our sex life,

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** I will either end you or break up with you.

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Also, I hate you all.

  
  


**[December 17, 2017] [2:56 AM]** **_the biggest mood_ **

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** yall my sister is a thief

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** she be stealin my cheesecake smh

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** uhhh why u eatin cheesecake rn

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** lET ME LIVE U SNAKE

  
  


**[December 17, 2017] [4:36 AM]** **_the biggest mood_ **

 

**_what the fuck richard_ ** _ named the group chat  _ **_the brewski frat(™)_ **

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** PUT AN EXTRA LARGE TAMPON I N MY BREWSKI MY GUY

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** IT HAS A HEAVY FLOW

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** AND A WIDESET VAGINA

  
  


**[December 17, 2017:  6:37 AM]** **_the brewski frat(™)_ **

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Yeah, hey,

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** What the fuck.

  
  


**[December 17, 2017:  12:23 PM]** **_the brewski frat(™)_ **

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** my rabbi hates me 

 

**_hahaha I do that:_ **  whos your rabbi

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** My dad

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** mood

 

 ** _I want a Jewish Girl:_** He threw an entire Torah at me. That shit almost knocked me the fuck out.

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** I was just trying to practice Hebrew and that bitch threw the Torah. 

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** smh how disrespectful

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ya not a moody 

 

**_im 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** u cant be throwin around the torah

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ **  you can’t be almsot merkin stanley like that does ur dad want to. Fight. 

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** lmao i’m gonna take a bath brb

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** is that code for something or are u just telling us u have good hygiene 

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** lmao just takin a bath brb

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** st,, an sTO p

 

**_uh,, skinny penis_ ** FUCK HE WROTE IMPROPERLY

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** WAHTS HAPPENING

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** i read in an article for moms that that’s a code word for drugs or something bad

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** why the fuck were u on an article for moms

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** lmao idk

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** blease dont allow him to bathe unless its an actual ba t h

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** well what’re we gonna do

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** watch him as he bathes to make sure???

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** i’d watch stan bathe haha ;)

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** y’all takin a bath means fuckin suicide

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** sTAN NO

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** sTAN YES

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ **  stanwey no 3: stay awive

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** staNLEY MITCHELL URIS,,, stOp

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** you have been stopped


	2. hahah rehab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sticky nut juice: pepsi bottle
> 
> would anyone like some stew: coca cola glass
> 
> what the fuck richard: i dont give a damn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow we wrote this in a day thank yall
> 
> THESE ARE SO FUN TO WRITE
> 
> stan = i want a jewish girl/Flat Stanley  
> mike h = country boy i love you/micycle  
> ben = go back to sleep and starve/egg boy  
> bill = what the FUCK is up kyle/bbbbill  
> mike w = still a piece of garbage/wheelies  
> eddie = would anyone like some stew/arm machine broke  
> bev = butter my eggroll/january embers  
> el = i’’m 11 so shut the fuck up/elevated  
> dustin = uh,, skinny penis/busty dusty  
> lucas = oovoo javer/mucas  
> richie = what the fuck richard/asshole  
> will = sticky nut juice/wizard will  
> max = hahaha i do that/zumiez

 

**_[December 19, 2017] [7:16 PM]  the brewski frat(™)_ **

  
  


**_what the fuck richard:_ ** uhhhhh hhey whats up joyui guiys its uyour bouys u hhhh hh ,,, ,

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** why

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** yall even though hes fucking high as fuck he types like that all the time

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** lmaaoaooo you bithch like evryeone ncna fucking huebndergsttand me fperfhtectlky fine.

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** nah u know how hard it is to chub up when he spells every other fucking word wrong

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** really hard,,, like harder than my dick 

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** 5 messages in and we are already talking about dick, great.

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** lmao u wanna tlka about my ,,,,,

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** sT OPP,,, d USTY y

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** hey guys im single and ready to mingle :)))))

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** bi TH

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** yo we talkin about diCK??

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i MM JUSTR FUCKIGN TALKING ABOUTTB VUIENDDS YOU FUCKEER IM INNNOTNCET.

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** debatable

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** debatable

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** nO off tiopopos cquiiiusutions,,, ,opyuu have bene stippoed

 

**_i’m 11 so shut the fuck up::_ ** are you okay richie

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i SAID NO OFF TOIPOS QUIESTIONS,

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** just ignore him 

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** if you ignore him, he’ll stop and bother eddie or something.

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** Actually just stop texting for once, Richard.

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** uhh todya my boyfriuends bullited me,, im startun a kcikstarted to putbbthem down

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** the benuifits of puttigb them down worlf ebe that id dbe bulleiddwya less

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** noah fence but what the fuck

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** who provides his weed and knows he gets like this.

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** fake ass bitches 

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** i leave for  0 mins and you give my sot in the parti awau 

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** uuhhhhh thetrees ony one thifng worsteb thana f rapisst

 

**_would anyone like some stew_ ** : boom

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** richie

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** kNKHLIUSDHLFHSKFKJDS

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** o kt ogod suhc bulliues

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** It’s a snake rehab guys

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** wait

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** fuck

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Hahah, rehab.

 

hahaha i do that: whay the heck guys did you aee wherw my edivles went i cant fubd tgen :(((

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** wait dingt you leave tehm on the table

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** hahhah im not gonanf  stop 

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** not ognans itpk til li get my shcta

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** b ITHC

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Also, laugh at Richie. He doesn’t know how to wear a fucking kippah.

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** isn’t it fuckinff jjewish,,,,,, amgic

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** where are you stan????

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** is he okay?? he isn’t home.

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** No you idiot, it’s like, bobby pins. God, Bill.

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** lmao sassy stanny

 

**_Hahahah i do that:n_ ** wow cant believe richie is a whole snake, ,, alla otf ym edidie s are in hsi sdfuckig stomahc

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** abbae, im reading haryry potrer and thhe  priinsone rof azkandben,, ,what do you nwat

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** ousy nake

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** riciee :((( whyd ouy erat her eddibeks

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** uhhhhhh **puts sar sup to cove rthe s in shoes**

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** stop kit dick oyu loosdk like a  nazix

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** stan, cmon babe lets go home. you need a bath

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** oyu compelte em wihilm

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** uhhuhhhhhhhhhhh,,, , i hope that you’re referring to me when you say wilhelm.

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** hwy nwuold he  meann you,, bill s  same s i wilvdem

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** ,,,, will is short for william

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** bill is short for william

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** we have the same name but a different nickname

 

**_I want Jewish girl:_ ** WHATHHJ. wHY woUld yoU WANT MEE tO Die miCHEAL HAN LOM.

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** ok something is up,, stan spelled somethign wrong

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** lucas is right,,,,, is stan okay?

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** weewoooweeewooo stans not okay.

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** srooyr i cant  fuckinh concenttraagte an naythtign elske oteher than tehe faxct thatr dick kate me y eddibled

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** wHEN WILK JOYU LEARN

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** WEHN WIDLD YOU LEARN 

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** TNAH  T YOUS R ACTOON S HAEV CONSQUUENCES

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** Where are you guys?! I’m getting in my truck as we speak. 

 

**_i’m 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** i heard them say that they were meeting up at bills

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** oooooo, you guys are in trouble.

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** wewee alld diewe

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** yoo u eigght er kill ylousrslef of grt wileldc

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** whst u gaonnna do

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** BOOM CHHOBOB

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** WAHST YOU GOANANS DO\

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** you guys are going to die tofay. 218 messages in 20 minutes

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** Okay, I’m heading inside. I’ll keep you guys updated.

 

**_[December 20, 2017] [6:20 AM]  the brewski frat(™)_ **

  
  


**_what the fuck richard:_ ** stan rn: “honestly i dont remember, i was probably fucke dup then heuheuheueheueuheh”

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** lmao can yall believe that stan ate all of my fucking edibles

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** lmao how many were there

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** like 15 brownies

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** y’all know that brownies are his kryptonite

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** listen dont blame me it was max’s fault i was an innocent bystander

 

**_I want Jewish girl:_ ** I actually hate you all. I was tricked, Bill is a villain.

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** lmao i cant believe that bil lsaid that

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** he fuckin brought the bong outta his room

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** yeah but oyu brought the brownies

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** unimportant

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** the real villain is lev from oceanography?

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** no

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** the real villian is bill from the losers club

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** no its sydney from fuckin trig

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** heyre a fuckin snake

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** i asked for them fuckin formula sheet to put down and they gave me the wrong one on purpose

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** how do u know it was on purpose

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** BECAUSE AFTERWARDS tHEY PULLED OUT A DIFF SHEET THAT SNAKE

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** ive never seen stan vomit that much. :(((( 

 

**_i’m 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** feel better stanny :))

 

**_I want Jewish girl:_ ** Thanks el, love you.

 

**_would anyone like some stew_ ** real snake of the hour, richie. He didn’t deny that he ate the edibles.

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i wAS FUCKING HIGH

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** you could have said something before he ate them all.

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i dont have control over my limbs owh can i stop the madness that is stan gettin g high for the sam etime

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** snake

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** snake

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** snake

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** snake

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** snake

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** sNKAE

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** its a snake habitat turn around!

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** “snake rehab”

 

**_I want Jewish girl:_ ** Nastiest and slimiest, snake in the fucking jungle.

  
  


**_[December 20, 2017] [8:37]  the brewski frat(™)_ **

  
  


**_still a piece garbage:_ ** oH MY GOD I

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** mmmmmmmhmmhmhmhmhmmhmhmmhmhm

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** whats good my brewski

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** fUKIN VIC

 

**_I want Jewish girl:_ ** Is he back from juvie?

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** hahahahh i wihs

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** id rather have vic from juvie punch me simultaneously with hen*y the fur*y than hear this bitchs voice

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** lmao vic candelario? Hwat he do 

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** uuuhuhuauahuahuuhauuhufuuguguhgu fuck

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** hes so fuckin obnoxious everytime i say ish name he just thin ks i w anna fiGHT

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** like no i dont want to be as much of an attentionseekee r as you, trahs

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** i jUST WANNA PASS MANDARIN

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Oh, the new kid from last year? I thought everyone liked him, he seemed sweet.

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** hahahhahahahahahahahah 

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** lAST YEAR

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** this year hes just an attention seeking whore like probably sucked more guys off than richie

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** hEY

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** yo u bicnh

 

**_still a piece garbage:_ ** sorry bu,t i hATE HIM

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** gET OF FBEFORE I FUCKING GET IN TROUBLE WITH MADAME DEER

 

**_i’m 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** honestly

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** :(((((((((

 

**_[December 20, 2017] [2:43 PM] the butt babes_ **

 

**_asshole:_ ** ahhahahah whos ready to fuckin,,, get some panda

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** i want chipotle oyu snake

 

**_wizard sticky nut juice:_ ** uhhhh hhh hh hh h hh h hh h

 

**_wizard will:_ ** im okay with thatver

 

**_asshole:_ ** ahhhhhhhh oyu oyung sweet chidl

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** you arent apart of this oyu beautiful boy.

 

**_wizard will:_ ** ?????

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** youre too nice babe

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** youre like okay with everything so rich and i only argue since we dont care about eahc other’s feelings

 

**_asshole:_ ** now i want fucking panda

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** no i want chiptle

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** you dont need anymore fuckin oil in your food you grease trap

 

**_wizard will:_ ** eddie!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** ok ok ok im sorry we can eat panda

 

**_asshole:_ ** no, it’s okay. we can go to chipotle.

 

**_wizard will:_ ** babe, he didnt mean it

 

**_wizard will:_ ** he was just joking

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** yeha honey, its okay

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** we can go to panda!!!!

 

**_asshole:_ ** no

 

**_asshole:_ ** its okay

 

**_asshole:_ ** you guys can go ahead

 

**_asshole:_ ** ill just stay home today

  
  


**_[December 20, 2017] [4:19 PM] private message_ **

  
  


**_country boy i love you:_ ** okay so i’m eating at denny’s after i got out of work, right?

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** Okay?

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** this fuckin waitress was the biggest bitch i’ve ever had

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** i ask for some fuckin veggie burgers and like she starts hitting on me, right?

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** ...Okay?

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** so i’m trying to tell this chick that im taken, im like “yo hanna, im gay as fuck.”

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** Damn, straight.

 

**_country boy i love you_ ** and once i tell her, i fuckin see her spit in my food in the back BECASUE THERES AN OPEN BACK

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** THIS DUMB BITCH IS RUINING MY FOOD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** What the actual fuck?

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** right? So now i’m gone and left without paying

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** I would too, don’t worry honey.

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** now i’m at wendys.

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** do you want anything from here, babe?

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** I’m keeping kosher :(

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** right, right. sorry. i’ll stop by lunas on my way to your house :))

 

**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** <3 See you in 20 minutes.

  
  


**_[December 20, 2017] [4:28 PM] the semiquiet group_ **

  
  


**_wizard will:_ ** guys eddie made rihcie feel bad

 

**_elevated:_ ** good job eddie

 

**_january embers:_ ** yeah eddie

 

**_zumiez:_ ** a sad richie is a sad family

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** !!!! if eel bad

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** im gonna cry please dont yell at me

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** im gonna buy him food and sneak into his room

 

 ** _egg boy:_** go talk to him, eddie. Like private message him. He likes talking things out :)

 

**_b b b bill:_ ** yeah thats a good idea

 

**_b b b bill:_ ** what food are you bringing him

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** i got him some panda

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** he was asking for some earlier

 

**_busty dusty:_ ** good idea my guy

 

**_wheelies:_ ** good luck dude, hopefully hes feeling okay

 

**_Flat Stanley:_ ** What did you even say?

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** i may of have

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** called him a grease trap

 

**_mucas:_ ** oh my god,,,,

 

**_b b b bill:_ ** yeah go apologize

 

**_arm machine broke:_ ** ok ok ok ok

  
  


**_[December 19, 2017] [5:17]  private message_ **

  
  


**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** richie

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** what

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** open your window

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** whagwhagtwgat

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** yes open your window my guy you deserve an aopology

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** why

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** what did you do to apologize to me

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** open u pyour window and ill explain

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** now hurry up it s cold

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** okay okay holdo n

  
  


**_[December 20, 2017] [6:56 PM] the brewski frat(™)_ **

  
  


**_sticky nut juice:_ ** pepsi bottle

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** empty coca cola glass

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i dont give a damn

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** so i assume you guys made up?

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** not only that but when they got to my house

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** [richiestornupback.jpg]

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** jesus christ eddie did you try to kill him

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** lmao how much was he bleeding afterwards

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** thats kind of,,,

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** disturbing

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** uhhhhhh

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** [benstornupback.jpg]

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** JKDFHGLUIHERGARGJK

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** DUSTIN

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** hm?

 

**_i'm 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** okay thats really disturbing

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** what gay sex talk or the scratches

 

**_i'm 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** the scratches

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** [bevstornupback.jpg]

 

**_i'm 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** ok no not okay

  
  


**_i’m eleven so shut the fuck up_ ** _ has left the chat _

  
  


**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** dflkgharghargfkjdfkj

  
  


**_hahaha i do that_** _has_ _added_ ** _i’m eleven so shut the fuck up_**

  
  


**_i'm 11 so shut the fuck up:_ ** dont expose me you snake

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** <3333

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** everyone is so fCUKING gay what the fuck

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** got anything to expose wheeler? ;)))

 

**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** uhh not that I can think of 

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** [mikestornupback.jpg]

  
  


**_still a piece of garbage_ ** _ has left the chat _

  
  


**_what the FUCK is up kyle_ ** _ has added  _ **_still a piece of garbage_ **

  
  


**_still a piece of garbage:_ ** i have nothing to say to you denbrough

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** I swear to god, Michael…

 

**_country boy i love you:_ ** ye,,s dea r :,,,) *gulps*

  
  


**_[December 20, 2017] [11:11 PM] the brewski frat(™)_ **

 

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** 11:11 make a wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** i wish for less bullying from my girlfriends

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** i wish for eating dat ass

 

**_I want a Jewish girl:_ ** Okay, halt.

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** i wish for everyone to shut the fuck up

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** its time to do t fucking sleep

 

**_uh,, skinny penis:_ ** ahh so glad im dating a ray of sunshine

 

**_oovoo javer_ ** **:** go to sleep before he kills you

 

**_oovoo javer:_ ** or i do

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** i just wanted to have a nice family gathering

 

**_what the fuck richard:_ ** and all i got was relationshi[ pangst

 

**_would anyone like some stew:_ ** GO TOHE SLEEP

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** goodnight everyone!!!!!

 

**_sticky nut juice:_ ** love you!!!

 

**_butter my eggroll:_ ** aww love you willy!!!

 

**_hahaha i do that:_ ** such a dear, love you

 

**_go back to sleep and starve:_ ** good night william

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** goodnight my brewskis

 

**_what the FUCK is up kyle:_ ** eat ass in your dreams :)

  
**_I want a Jewish Girl:_ ** Fuck you, Bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ur destroy dick december cum guzzlers

**Author's Note:**

> ok special thannks to fern mary and lev but esp lev since we were tlaking all day yesterday and now my voice is gone
> 
> i have a lot of ideas to put in thanks to lev,, ,so thanks my guy lof u
> 
> shout out to mary for making discord and for stealing ideas
> 
> get a fuckin ao3 acc fern smh
> 
> strap in fuckers enjoy the ride :)


End file.
